Hiding how now?
In plain sight — hiding where no one is looking.
Hiding by making it look like you’re not even trying.
It’s funny, in a way. Last time, I wrote about hiding behind masks — hiding myself because I felt I had to, to stay safe.
Today, that’s still true to a degree. I’m still wearing a mask out in the world — hiding, trying to stay in what feels safe.
And even though it’s just one mask now, it’s still a mask.
Yet it’s not as obvious as the ones I wore before.
It’s not about changing who I am to appeal to others — it’s about hiding me.
But slowly, I’m chipping away at this mask.
I’m trying to step out of its shadow — slowly moving into plain sight.
How, you ask?
By doing things that are affirming to me, but not obvious to others — like doing skincare or letting my hair grow.
They’re visible to everyone.
And yet no one questions them, not even once.
In plain sight
So yes, I’m hiding.
Yes, I’m doing things that slowly chip away at the mask.
But more than that — I’m also putting up small signs.
Tiny clues about who I am beneath it all.
And I do mean small things.
Like using an ever-so-slightly trans-colored tint in the Outlook window on my laptop.
If you don’t know it exists, you’d never see it.
And yet every time I see it, it gives me strength.
Or using a pastel pink and blue (trans-inspired, at least to me) theme in Discord —
always visible, always there.
Subtle to anyone else.
Obvious to me.
They’re tiny things no one would ever notice unless they knew what they were looking for.
Maybe not so plain after all
If anything has caught my attention, it’s this:
The tiny signals I’m putting out — the ones that mean nothing to most people unless you’re in the same (or similar) boat —
are small, yes…
but to the right eyes, they’re incredibly bright.
It’s wild how your brain notices those same signals in others once you start using them yourself.
The other day, I saw someone in the street — they had this small accessory with trans colors on it.
It was tiny. Not connected to anything.
And yet, for me, it felt like a spotlight was on it.
And I suppose… for others, it might be the same with my tiny signals.
At least, I hope so.